Order out of Chaos

This morning I sorted through and organized my jewelry box. I was amazed to see how many things I had that I hadn't worn in 15-20 years or more. The box was stuffed full and it was hard to find the things that I like and wear on a regularly basis.

Some of the items had sentimental value, but most of it was just stuff. As I sorted through, it felt good to discard the things that really didn't matter. I had a bunch of single earrings that had lost their mates. A bunch of silver things that were now tarnished. A handful of things that are not my style and never really were, but somehow I just couldn't get rid of them.

What an amazing, cleansing feeling it gave me to create order in that small part of my life. Kirk Duncan teaches that "Order" is one of the most basic, primal needs of human beings. The more parts of our life that are out of order, the more we are living in chaos and disorder, blocking the flow of the things that we want to come into our life.

I'm grateful for the things that I have and for the stewardship I have over them. When I create order out of chaos, I feel powerful and the creative juices flow, allowing for me to have more peace, joy, and gratitude.

Any time of year is good for creating order. Baby steps are the key. Organize a silverware drawer, the movie or book shelves, clean out a closet, or your car. One thing at a time. As you create order in your life, and as you create a vacuum by giving up things that no longer serve you, more of the things that you want/desire/need can come into your life.

What can you put in Order today?

Is your Life Force being sucked out of you?

Ok, admittedly I am a child of the 80's, which is why I reference so many 80's movies.

Have you ever seen "The Dark Crystal" by Jim Henson? Remember the part where they capture the podlings, put them in a chair, and then let the Crystal suck their Life Force out, so that the Skeksis' can drink it and stay young?

That's how I felt towards the end of my second marriage. And I take full responsibility for that way of being. I allowed myself to be used, abused, neglected, and unappreciated ... BY MYSELF, more than anyone else around me.

I was committed to being co-dependent. I thought that being "self-less" meant sacrificing my needs for the needs of everyone I cared about. I thought that "service" meant doing everything for everyone else and not taking care of myself. My self-worth was practically non-existent.

I neglected to take the time after my first marriage to heal myself, to get to know myself and take care of myself. When a man came along that was interested in me and pursued me, I jumped into another relationship, thinking that he could "save me" and that I would "save him" and his children.

I am so grateful for the experiences that I have had, especially over the last 13 years. I have learned a lot about myself that I may never have learned without these experiences. I have learned a lot about love, service, and self-lessness that has served me. I choose to no longer let my Life Force be sucked out of me by anyone, for any reason.

My new way of being is Love - beginning with myself. I know now that only when I deeply and completely love myself I will have the power and capacity to fully love all those around me... including those that hate me and despitefully use me. I am grateful for both of my marriages, both of my husbands, my children, and all those in my life that have helped me have the experiences I need to have in order for me to grow.

Because I choose Love, because I choose to take care of myself first, I have enough "Life Force" and to spare to share with those around me, in a healthy, inter-dependent way. Boundaries are my safe place and I am learning to set those and keep them.

I'm not perfect by any means. There are still days when certain people push my buttons and I get dragged back into the vicious cycle of my story and my victimhood. And I am learning every day how to quickly drop the "story" and the "poor me" and instead respond with the facts, and with love.

I know ways to vent my anger and frustration that don't cause more grief and pain to those that are trying to hurt me. I know they are trying to hurt me because of the hurt they are going through. Instead of retaliating and trying to "get even" or "be right", I am taking care of myself and my needs, and sending love to those around me, praying that they will take on their own healing and recovery from pain.

My Life Force is strong and healing, just like they healed the Crystal in the movie. and I love to share it with those around me. Thanks for reading. I hope you feel my love for you.

Of Snow Plows and Personal Development

Today I am grateful for snow plows.

It was snowing quite a lot in my neck of the woods this morning and I had a meeting to go to. As I was driving along the somewhat plowed roads, I was reminded of an experience I had in college. One day after my classes were done I was heading home in a huge blizzard, with my best friend Liz. We were in my little Plymouth Sundance, and I thought, "I bet the freeways will be nasty to drive home on. We should take the back roads so we can go slower." Seems like a good theory, right? Well, I didn't take into account the fact that usually freeways are the first roads to get plowed, and the back roads are the last.

So, there we were, driving down this 2-lane road in the middle of nowhere, desperately trying to stay in the tracks left by the cars in front of us. There had to be 6 inches of snow built up on the road. Talk about white- knuckling it... and then, of course, I drifted ever so slightly out of the tracks in front of me and BAM - we slid off the side of the road. We looked a lot like this:

On this road back then, the houses were few and far between, and the snow plows were scarce. Luckily, the house that we were closest to had a backhoe and the owners were able and willing to dig my car out of the snow bank and help us get back on the road.

This brought up some reflection for me as I was driving this morning. I thought about how our lives can get weighed down and covered in slippery, slushy, hard-to-maneuver-in muck, just like the roads get when they're covered in snow. Do we like driving in muck, because it's familiar? How does it hinder our progress? What are the dangers of proceeding on an un-plowed road? What about when we're ready to move forward? What can we use to remove that muck? How do we plow the road of our subconscious mind to clear away the slippery, slushy, hard-to-maneuver-in muck that has built up over time?

For me, the answer is personal development. I have come to realize, over the last couple of years, how absolutely vital this practice is in my life. I have found many methods and ways to go about personal development, and I would like to share three of them with you today. Also, keep in mind that the more effective you want to be at clearing the road, the more snow plows you need to use...

1- Books. There are a plethora of books out there about personal development. Some call them "self-help books". Some people make fun of this literature genre. Some people revere it. I have come to rely heavily on it, because I have seen great results in my own life through the things I have read. I love the variety out there - there is literally something for everyone, and if you want the tools to clean up your muck, you will be able to find them.

Here are some of my favorites:

• Remembering Wholeness, by Carol Tuttle
• The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson
• Codependent No More by Melody Beattie
• As a Man Thinketh by James Allen
• Hidden Treasures by Leslie Householder
• The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

2- Energy Clearing. There are also a variety of ways to go about clearing negative energy from your life. I am fascinated with this topic right now and I am learning everything I can get my hands on. I have been on a journey my whole life, trying to find out WHO I AM, what my personal mission is, and how I can fulfill it. I know the basics - I am a Child of God, I am here to learn, and I plan to go to Heaven one day. But, specifically, for me... what are the answers? 

Some of the energy clearing methods that have helped me:

• Rapid Eye Technique
• Tapping (EFT)
• Affirmations
• Energy Circles
• Prayer
• Visualizations
• Completing conversations
• Meditation

3- Workshops. It is amazing how many personal development mentors/gurus/workshops there are out there. It is not hard to find one that will mesh with your goals and ideals and help you to overcome your blocks. But I have found that you can't just go to one and magically be "fixed" or "cured". In fact, there is nothing to "fix" or "cure". And, being around people that are like-minded, that are figuring out things as they go and then sharing them with whoever will listen, is powerful. Staying in the conversation of continual growth and development, and striving to be the best you can be is very powerful. The coolest thing is, you can find these workshops everywhere. You can attend them online, in person, or even over the phone. You just have to be on the lookout!

I love attending workshops. Here are some of my favorites:

• Master of Influence by Kirk Duncan
• Landmark Education
• Aura Personalities by Staci Sadler
• Body Language by Kirk Duncan
• Belief Breakthrough by Heather Madder
• Elevation by Tiffany Peterson
• Dressing Your Truth by Carol Tuttle

So, how do you feel about Personal Development? What are you doing to clear the slippery, slushy, hard-to-maneuver-in muck out of your life? I would love to hear of new ideas, so please comment below!