Resistance

Last week I was driving on the freeway to get to a meeting. In an attempt to avoid an accident, I drove over half of a tire that was in my lane and then said some swear words as I exited the freeway.

Praying that the tire had not caused too much damage to my undercarriage (probably could have prayed for forgiveness for swearing), I continued on my way to my appointment. At first there seemed to be nothing wrong with my car. However, it soon started to bounce slightly as I continued down the road. My vehicle is equipped with air-bag suspension, and having had previous experience with this type of suspension being damaged, I knew that something was wrong. Since I was almost to my appointment, I decided to wait until afterward to assess the damage.

An hour and a half later, I came back and noticed that the entire rear end of my car was noticeably lower. I was right - the air-bags had been damaged. I was about 15 miles away from my apartment, with no other way of getting home and only an hour until my girls needed to be picked up from school.

(This is not my car, but it is exactly what it looked like. 

People actually do this to their cars on purpose?)

I'm not gonna lie - I was pretty stressed out. My insurance company said there was nothing they could do since I only have liability coverage. The mechanic I called wanted to charge $100 just to look at it. Driving at 25 mph kept the bouncing to a minimum, but the problem needed to be fixed.

This is what we like to call "Resistance". Here you are, living your life, trying to do good things, and all of a sudden CRAP HAPPENS.

What do you do when Resistance shows up in your life? Sometimes we think, "Well, this really difficult circumstance happened, so that must mean _____."

Does it mean that I should be angry?
Does it mean that I should give up?
Does it mean that I must be making the wrong choice?

It means whatever you choose to make it mean.

So, after I spent some time fretting and complaining, I decided to look at other options. Thankfully, I have an amazing boyfriend and a fantastic dad, who both know a lot about cars. They were able to collaborate over the phone and figure out a couple of options. I parked the car at my apartment and rented a car, expecting that I'd need to do so for at least a week. We ordered a conversion kit to give the car normal spring coil suspension, in case the air bags were damaged. Thanks to my boyfriend we got an AMAZING deal online for that kit.

As luck would have it, my parents were actually flying to AZ to visit me that weekend. Without being asked, Dad brought his grubby clothes and as soon as we got to my apartment he climbed under the car, examined the problem, and was able to fix it. I was able to return the rental car that afternoon, which saved me a ton of money. We can still do the conversion to regular suspension when we are ready, but in the meantime my car is fixed.

When Resistance shows up, instead of blaming, getting mad, or giving up, it usually helps more to ask: What can be learned from this experience? What blessings can I see in the middle of this problem?

For me, in this situation, I got to learn more about my boyfriend and how he handles problems. He was very level-headed, selfless, and altruistic in the face of a big problem. I got to learn more about my dad, who exhibited all of those qualities as well, as he has my whole life. They got to meet each other and find out that they have many things in common. Even though it was a big problem, it was fixed with minimal cost, time, and stress. The situation could have been much worse.

So, today I am thankful for learning experiences that seem like trials, and for opportunities to grow. I'm thankful for the great support network in my life. I'm thankful for blessings that come in the form of adversity.

Incidentally, I'm also thankful for the opportunity to learn through joyful, abundant, peaceful experiences and welcome more of those into my life!

Endure to the End: How to Achieve Goals

Many of us have heard scriptures about enduring to the end ...

Those who endure to the end shall be lifted up.

Those who endure to the end shall be saved.

Blessed is he who endureth to the end. 

He who endureth to the end will be held guiltless.

Those who endure to the end shall not be cast out.

Receive remission of sins, through Christ, by endurance of faith on his name to the end. 

Those who endure in faith shall partake of glory.

Those who endure valiantly will receive thrones and dominions.

So, what does it mean to "endure"?

In the dictionary, it says: "To hold out against", "To bear without resistance, or with patience", To continue to exist".

That still feels pretty vague to me. So, what are the action steps we need to take to be able to endure to the end? Elder L. Tom Perry says there are five steps:
1- Repentance - we must be clean. Ideally, we repent moment by moment, but we also attend Sacrament Meeting each week to partake of the sacrament and renew our baptismal covenants.
2- Live worthy to have the Holy Ghost in our lives, to guide and sanctify us.
3- Be an integral part of a community of saints. Serving and receiving service from our brothers and sisters in the gospel.
4- Share the gospel with others. We will receive great blessings as we do so, one of which is that our own testimony will take deeper root.
5- Always maintain faith and hope in Christ, by praying, fasting, and reading the scriptures. These practices will fortify us against the subtle schemes and fiery darts of the adversary.

We have just begun a New Year, and many people have made "resolutions" to improve their lives. Habits they want to create or sustain, goals they want to achieve, action steps they want to take.

A statistic says that only 8% of people actually achieve their New Year's Resolutions. I think this is because we don't really know the correct process for achieving a goal. One of the systems that I like to use when setting goals, is the "SMART" method.

1- Specific (or Significant) - You can say, "I want to read my scriptures more." but, what does that mean? Make sure your goals are specific.
2- Measurable (or Meaningful) - How will you know when you accomplish your goal? How long will you need to work on that goal for it to become a habit?
3- Attainable (or Action-Oriented) - If you say, "I want to read my scriptures for 30 minutes every day", but you haven't read your scriptures consistently in a very long time, that will be harder for you to achieve. Instead, start small - I'm going to read one chapter a day, 3x a week. It takes 30 days for a habit to become regular, and another 60 days for it to become unconscious. So, don't beat yourself up if it takes a while to get up to reading 30 minutes a day.
4- Relevant (or Rewarding) - Make sure that your goals fit your life. Don't try to compare yourself with other people, or with what you think someone else wants you to achieve. You are responsible for your own life, and it is important to let others be responsible for theirs. If you are constantly trying to be like someone else, you will never feel fulfillment, joy, or peace. Decide what YOU want and need to accomplish in your life, and make the steps to achieve those goals.
5- Time-bound (or Trackable) - If you set a deadline, or a time period in which to achieve your goal, it creates an urgency to help you have motivation. If you don't know where the "finish line" is, how will you ever get to it?

Another important thing is to focus on one goal at a time. Too many times we glorify the virtue of "Multi-tasking". Women are especially guilty of this, because we consider ourselves "good" at it, but I know for myself as I overschedule my time by multi-tasking, I actually rob myself of peace and productivity. Being able to focus on one specific goal at a time, create it into a solid habit, and then move onto the next habit I want to create has been much more effective for me.

I like to choose a goal in five main areas in my life and work on creating a new habit in each area. The areas are: Spiritual, Physical, Relationships, Personal Development, and Financial. When I give myself a huge to-do list I get really overwhelmed and end up quitting a lot sooner. Breaking large goals down into small action steps and celebrating my accomplishments helps those action steps become unconscious habits.

There is no commandment that says, "Thou shalt do it All."

Another really important thing to add is to celebrate when you accomplish a goal, even if it's really small. Rewarding yourself when you take an action step helps your brain want to do that action step again. It can be as simple as shouting, "I accomplished my goal today! I am awesome!!!" or you can give yourself a piece of chocolate. :) Any type of celebration will help you want to keep moving forward and completing those steps every day.

I know that if we endure to the end and create goals for ourselves we will receive the greatest reward of all, which is eternal life with our Father in Heaven. And if we are waiting for that day to come to finally celebrate our accomplishments, we are robbing ourselves of the peace, joy, and gratitude that we can experience every day. Heavenly Father gives us a pat on the back by sending the Spirit to fill our hearts when we do good things. He wants us to celebrate our accomplishments, no matter how big or small.

As we work on enduring to the end, we can remember that putting one foot in front of the other, consistently moving towards the goals that we have for our lives and that Heavenly Father has inspired us to achieve is the best thing we can do. Choose one thing to work on, and "Try a Little Harder to Be a Little Better" (Gordon B. Hinckley). Then, just do five percent more on that goal. Ask yourself, "If I were to give 5% more in my spiritual life, what would that look like?"

We are not expected to be perfect in this life. Progress is better than perfection. That is what "Endure to the End" is all about - Progress, not Perfection. We all know that it is IMPOSSIBLE for us to be perfect in this life, so why do we keep trying to be, and beating ourselves up when we fail?

I know that we can be happy and choose to have joy and peace in our lives as we work towards our goal of eternal life. I know that our Father in Heaven is pleased with our efforts to progress, no matter how big or small. I know that he loves me and he loves you, and I know that you are worthy to receive everything He has in store for you, just by virtue of being you. I invite you to step into your power as a son or daughter of God and create the life that He meant for you to have.

What can you do to give 5% more in an area of your life?